Dealing with Change

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Change, is sort of like a freight train. Once it takes off, it’s hard as hell to stop. And when it does stop, it happens so fast that you didn’t even know what hit you. Change is emotional, unnerving and despite our protests, inevitable.

So how do you cope with the inevitable change and everything that goes along with it? Here are some tips;

1. Accept what is
Accept the situation that you are in. Understand that without change, there is no growth. Come to terms with the fact that regardless of how you feel or how worried, stressed, resistant etc etc you are, what is going to happen is going to happen with or without your consent. Once you accept what is, you will no longer resist the change.

2. Don’t be afraid
Trust that things will always turn out the way they should. Yes, it may be a long road. But don’t be afraid of what’s to come. Fear does nothing but hold you back from taking risks or enjoying the process.

3. Remind yourself that you are only in control of your behavior
A lot of times, change is not necessarily positive. Remind yourself that you cannot control this, you can only control your actions. You are not responsible for the actions of others and you certainly cannot control them either.

4. Nip anxiety in the bud
Change is scary. The unpredictability of it, the fast-paced way in which it comes, is enough to send even a calm person insane. Check-in with yourself when you’re feeling anxious, and remind yourself that “in this moment I am ok.” A simple mantra such as that will provide immediately relief and assurance that you are in fact ok in this moment, and, in this moment there is no reason to fret over what you are unable to control.

5. Face it head on
It’s not easy. But facing your problems head on is always, in my opinion, the best way to go. The sooner you face it, the faster it’ll be over with. Face your changes head on, putting off the inevitable will only prolong the anxiety and fear. Once you’re on the other side of this, you’ll understand why the change was necessary and you’ll be a better person because of it!

Tips For Dealing With Difficult People

Dealing with Difficult People

We all know one. Either in the workplace, your son’s PTO President, the cashier at the local grocery store. A family member. Difficult people are everywhere. And despite the little bubbles we try and create to avoid them, we can’t. Difficult people, much like money, make the world go round. Or so it seems!

How do you deal with the seemingly influx of difficult people on a daily basis? Here are a few tips of how we deal with them.

Redirect the Conversation

You cannot control another person’s action, but you can control your roll in them. We all have the ability to redirect conversations that are taking a direction we don’t particularly like. Whether its gossip, rumors, complaining, arguing. Redirect the conversation to a more positive place and then exit out of it.

Disconnect From The Negativity

If you’re like me, I can’t stand listening to someone who thinks they’re always right and likes to argue. I call these people the “yea but-ers.”

“The sky is blue today.” “Yea, but it’s actually not blue, it’s really a reflection of the blah blah blah yada yada?”
Yea but-ers are worse than the one-uppers.

These people ignite a flame inside me that makes me want to argue even more. In these cases, I’ve learned to disconnect. Let the person spew whatever it is they want. Let them misquote, state false facts etc etc. There’s no need to argue with this type because you will never win. It’s not an argument I can have every day.

Kill Them With Kindness

Your mother’s favorite tip is now my favorite tip. Killing difficult people with kindness gives you the ability to rise above it, to show the person that you are unaffected by their attitude and nothing they say will put a damper in your day. It takes practice, sure. But choosing to take the more positive road will ensure that you keep your sanity in the long run.

Vision Board

Vision Boards.

Do you have one? Are you familiar with what they are and what they do?

I have one. Several, actually. And they change time to time (which is why having the Vision Board App is key versus the scissors and glue stick kind.)

They work like this; Vision boards are a sort-of visual tool to envision your life. In the best, most- unbelievable way. It’s a reminder, a way for ourselves to see the ‘big picture’ of what we hope our life will look like one day.

How to use it;

Pictures, affirmations, articles, whatever strikes your fancy. Mine? I have pictures of a second home I hope to have on Cape Cod, a nice car, a finished novel with the words “best seller” next to it. I glance at my board every so often and my drive gets reignited. I want these things, and I can get these things.

And so can you.

My favorite, and most important part of my vision board, is my gratitude section. In this section I have pictures of my nephews, my fiancé, my family. My day job (although oftentimes it’s hard to find the positives in this job, I am extremely grateful to just have a job.) This section means the most. Without gratitude, we can’t achieve our goals. Gratitude creates it all.

Are you gracious?

Wednesday Motivation

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There is nothing that can not happen today. Mark Twain

My favorite author, Mark Twain. I admire this man so much. Have you been to visit the Mark Twain house in Hartford, Ct? Go. To be among that history, that humor. It does something to you.

Today is Wednesday, does anybody like hump day? Sure, we’re halfway there. But on the other end of that, we’re only half way there.

Let’s not let the blues get us down. Let’s make today special despite us being in the middle of our weekly grind.

Today I honor my tiredness, my crabbiness that it’s only Wednesday and I’m not sitting by a pool (see: the dozens of Facebook pictures my “friends” are posting.) I honor all of this and vow to make today a good day anyway.

I’ll continue my hustle and mark things off my to-do list despite wanting to crawl into bed.

Who knows. If I get things done quickly enough maybe there will be time for a nap.

After all, There is nothing that can not happen today.

How Italians Love

My parents.

This year marks nearly 4 decades of marriage for them. A feat that is unprecedented by any standards, but especially so by today’s. They’ve officially been together longer than they’ve ever been a part. And that’s just crazy to me.

They’ve been married longer than they’ve ever been single. Crazy, no?

It hasn’t always been easy for them. But it never really is, is it? They came here with nothing in hopes of living the American Dream. And along with my uncles and aunts, they’ve created some success both together and separately never forgetting to help each other along the way. Could they do it now? In these times? Who knows. They’re scrappy, no doubt, but times are certainly different now.

My parents.

In my house growing up, you only knew you were loved if you were being yelled at. The angrier my parents got, the more my sister and I were loved. The more Saints that were sworn to in Italian, the more passionate they felt about your well-being. Full House was always a strange concept to me. A family that hugs it out over soft background music? What?

My mother.

How she does it, is beyond me. Every day for nearly 40 years my father will wake up, put the coffee pot on the stove (I tried getting them a Kuerig once, it was thrown back at my head) and go out to his garden to fork around in his vegetables completely forgetting about the coffee.

My mother- after working the night shift will wake up to something burning. She will run out of the room in her mu mu, her Italian fro’ askew, and curse the day she married that damn man as she cleans up the boiled-over coffee with a mapeen (dish cloth.)

I asked her one day why she never said anything to him. Her response? “I pick my fights.”

And isn’t that just the right motto for long-lasting marriages? Pick your battles.

The point of this post, other than to share a little family history, is to show you that 40 years does still happen. It can still happen. And it will happen. To you. If you want that life, of course. And if you always pick your battles.

Cheers to my folks. Should I one day be so lucky.

Meditation: Inquire Within

You’ve likely heard about it before, the benefits of meditation. But maybe you haven’t tried it just yet. Maybe you’re scared. Maybe you think that if you start meditating you’ll need to give up all your possessions and move out into some field without cell phone service.

Not the case.

Meditation is a way to calm the crazy. To organize your life without really knowing that you’re organizing it. It’s helped me deal with anxiety, insecurity, productivity you name it. Because I’m such a fan of meditation for everyone, even children (I often wonder what our youth would look like today if meditation were made a mandatory part of the curriculum,) I thought I’d list some of the key benefits of meditation from . To get the list in its entirety, click on over to their site. There’s 100 benefits compiled on this list, but I feel that the benefits of meditation reach far beyond this!

1. Good for people with high blood pressure
2. Reduces Anxiety
3. Decreases the aging process.
4. Cures headaches and migraines
5. Normalizes your ideal weight

6. Builds self-confidence
7. Resolves phobias and fears
8. Improved relations at home and at work
9. Less aggressiveness
10. Increase creativity

11. Keeps things in perspective
12. Provides peace of mind, happiness
13. Helps you discover your purpose
14. Attain enlightenment
15. Helps living in the present moment.

These are just some of the benefits listed, for the complete list see the link above.

Sunday Reset

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This weekend I, along with 8 friends, stepped out of our comfort zones and participated in a 5K color run. It was hot, it was long, and were dirty. But it was quite possibly my favorite experience of summer so far.

We went into the race tentatively. Not knowing what to expect. We came away with new friends, new inside jokes, and an experience we will always remember. We did something cool this weekend. And that’s what living is about.

Did you live this weekend? Did you make time for yourself and your loved ones? By doing this you’re creating a better you.

Did you create a better you this weekend ?

Today is Sunday. Reset. Lets sit down today and reflect on the past week. Where did we succeed? Where did we fail to succeed as much as we had hoped? Lets take a look at these things and improve this week.

It’s never failure until you stop trying.

Lets keep trying.